The ANALyst

Leverage, optimise, synergise

An Analyst’s Life

Right folks, let’s get back on track. So I have returned from the “orientation” and its time to jump into some real work. On Friday afternoon, I get a call from Satan herself, aka the staffing manager. The staffing manager is (usually) the bitch who controls your fate with regard to which hell hole you end up in. Yes there are different categories of hell, some decidedly worse than others. The conversation between the staffing manager and me goes something like this.

SM: Hi ANALyst, welcome to [firm]. I am sure you are excited for your first real gig.
Me: (enthusiastically) Yeah, can’t wait.
SM: I’ve been told that you have an interest in the financial sector and you like coastal cities.
Me: (very enthusiastically) Yeah absolutely.
SM: Hmm, you have been scheduled for [insert third rate manufacturing firm] in [insert unknown town in Kansas].
(Needless to say the enthusiasm crashes immediately)
Me: Umm, I thought you had something in financial services.
SM: (in an unsympathetic voice)Sorry, not now. You fly out on Monday morning.

At 4 30 am on Monday morning, I am sitting in a cab with the retarded cab driver hell bent on having a conversation. Can’t these nincompoops just shut up for a while. Anyway, its too early in the morning for his words to be coherent. I drift off into sleep. At the airport, I somehow manage to lug my newly acquired Tumi trolley bag into the terminal building. One look at the check-in counter and I thank the heavens for online check-in. Atleast, on a 5 am flight there wont be any pesky kids. WRONG!!! Not only do they exist, they also manage to find the seat right behind you. Arrrghhh, no sleep on the 3 hour flight!!! Oh, and contrary to the popular perception, we do not flight first class on domestic travel. Atleast, not until you get the status to get upgraded. Till then, I am stuck in sheep class. I decide to spend my first pay check on noise cancelling headphones. Glamorous life, yeah right!

April 14, 2009 Posted by | Consulting | 1 Comment