The ANALyst

Leverage, optimise, synergise

Airline Rant

There are a few industries where consultants are really able to help out. No not through our provision of professional services, but merely as a result of our existence. One of them is the airline industry.

Consultants travel a lot – typically flying out to the client on Mondays and flying back home on Thursdays or Fridays. After about two years in consulting, you have flown almost all the airlines in the country (yes including WN) and you typically have Gold/Platinum/God status with all the above airlines. Here’s my gripe – in spite of having God status with the airlines, you are subjected to the following:

  1. You are made to bear the indignity of standing in line with others at security.
  2. You are given the same puny little seat as the ones given to the lesser mortals.
  3. You are usually allocated the middle seat with two grossly overweight buffoons on either side (there goes your armrest).
  4. Although, point 3 can be negated by securing an aisle seat when checking in online, you do not have any control over the pesky little kid sitting directly behind you (can’t they have a separate, sound-proofed, kid’s only area).
  5. The FAs know and greet you by name (sometimes even with a smile), but they hesitate to give you the full can of coke or an extra packet of nuts on a transcontinental flight.
  6. Airline food sucks! Whether you buy it or get it free, it sucks! It is too bad to make you sick; even bacteria do not thrive.
  7. Time spent on the plane is time wasted; you can’t sleep as seats are too narrow and don’t recline along with the presence of the aforementioned Pesky Devil sitting behind you and you can’t work on presentations/spreadsheets because the tray table is too small to put your laptop on (anyway my laptop battery doesn’t last more than twenty minutes).
  8. You can’t watch movies because, hey, domestic airlines do not believe in inflight entertainment – how cool is that!
  9. The ratio of toilets to passengers in cattle class is a 100 to 1. You don’t need a PhD in mathematics to figure out how absurd this is.
  10. 10. On 3 out of 10 flights you are stuck for hours at some god forsaken airport because your connecting flight has been delayed.

To sum up airlines can often be like consultants in their genuine love and concern for their clients. Feel free to add to this list, I am sure this is not exhaustive.

August 3, 2009 - Posted by | Travel


  1. You need to cash in some hotel points and get yourself a PSP and put your own movies and games onto it. I have no idea how I survived a year as a road warrior without one (gah, Florida to Oregon flights). It really makes delays and even sitting in the middle a good deal more tolerable.

    Comment by Jemimah | August 3, 2009 | Reply

  2. Oh I got myself one of the iPhones instead of a crackberry. That suffices for now. Don’t play games all that much so no point in getting a PSP.

    Comment by banalyst | August 4, 2009 | Reply

  3. Hahaha… I belong to the same category my friend.
    I couldn’t help laughing at each point!

    Btw, reading books is a good way to kill time on board. Also, sleeping by far is the best way!
    And ofcourse, these days in-flight entertainment is better… I end up watching some comedies. 🙂

    Comment by Ships | August 4, 2009 | Reply

  4. One word: Ambien.

    Comment by Superman | August 8, 2009 | Reply

  5. Aha! I am interested in the term ‘cattle class’ 😛

    Comment by RGC | October 3, 2009 | Reply

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