The ANALyst

Leverage, optimise, synergise

Venus Strikes!

Over the past month and a half, I’ve been settling in to Emerging Economy, as you very well know. The transition hasn’t been the smoothest. There have been issues to deal with, from the bureaucratic to the cultural. Having overcome all those obstacles, just when I thought I had properly settled into the Emerging Economy, another issue has arisen. See, this is that type of issue which you never budget for; usually do not plan for; and hence when it does occur you are completely and utterly lost.

Enter exotic girl in foriegn land!

I guess you are beginning to see the point – the sheer magnitude of the dilemma.

While her ancestors referred to the Emerging Economy as their homeland, the girl herself does not reside within its territorial authority. In fact she now calls the Old World her home.

It all started about eight months ago, at a casual meeting, at a friend’s place. At that point, the thought that I would ever interact with her again, let alone fall truly, madly and deeply in love with her had never crossed my mind. Being a consultant, I was taught that the word “Network” is more important than the word “Mom”. Adding acquaintances to my Facebook account then, was only natural. Facebook then (eight months is a long time in tech parlance), was merely a social networking portal, not a part of your life. That happened later, when Zuckerburg decided to add the chat feature. This was May 2009. That chat feature is the source of my troubles!

What should never have been anything more than a “Hi, remember me?” type of conversation four months ago has now turned into an obsession where I can’t sleep if I haven’t spoken to her at least twice a day. To be frank, even then I can’t sleep! My mind seems preoccupied with her thoughts all the time. You see that’s not it, weirder things have happened to me. I do not notice other girls anymore; I do not go to clubs on Friday nights anymore for the fear of getting hooked to another female; and what’s infinitely worse is that I’ve been told that I am so lost in my thoughts that Salma Hayek could walk past nude and I wouldn’t notice!

The funniest part is – She (exotic girl in foriegn land) talks to me everyday, twice a day, but has no idea that I am truly, madly and deeply in love with her. I haven’t told her yet because:

  1. I wish to do so in person.
  2. I am not sure how it is possible to fall in love long distance with a girl living 7904.7 kilometers away, on Facebook!!!! Ever heard of that???
  3. I am still not sure if it’s love. But then again, if something forces me into celibacy with every other chick, then it has to be love, hasn’t it?
  4. I haven’t yet found a powerpoint deck which tells me what to do in this situation!

So in the twenty something years of my existence, having traveled to over a 100 cities in 20 countries; having advised executives at various companies on problems that seem impossible to solve; having jumped out of aircrafts at 15,000 feet with nothing but nylon to keep me alive; having acquainted myself to exotic females in five continents; having quit my job and relocating to the other side of the world on a whim; and having survived through obstacles most people can only dream off; I fear I have now been thrown a problem that I have no idea how to solve!

Before I close this post, I shall leave you with a short incident that took place yesterday. Usually, I take all my calls at my desk – the effort required to find an empty meeting room is too discouraging. I even make personal calls from my desk phone – they aren’t more than 30 seconds long anyway. Yet when I felt the urge to talk to her last evening, the first thing I did is booked a meeting room for thirty minutes and then dialled her from my cell. Why? Because

Cost of dialling from my desk phone = $2

Cost of dialling from my cell phone = $10

Having your private space in the midst of 5000 people = Priceless!!!

September 23, 2009 Posted by | Life | 5 Comments